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Beloved Chasms

It’s the lessons of grief That seek to allow an openness to love The mourning mother whose whelming heart floods Well beyond the reach of her empty arms As she grasps at piled earth and open air Where her fingertips once brushed stray strands out of eyes Tucked the tendrils back behind ears As though she was tucking each hair snuggly into bed at night How does she do that now Where does she channel her endless devotion Where this abyss now stands In shadowed reflection Don’t turn away Don’t recoil There is a forever to be loved here Even in this inevitable impermanence The blood spills Ephemeral The heart beats Even after it has bled out Eternal We never stop loving Grief is the learning of where to put that love Once our beloved has changed, moved, died No longer receiving our love as they once did The outpouring must be known As an endless river Unable to be held back by dams It must flow Where are your dry river beds Pour out into the hollows and valleys Love into the gaping void that remains Find the eternity of love in this way And I know My beloved may Leave Die Change So might I And still I know Once I love It is forever It flows through My open hands My open heart And overflows From these beloved chasms

It’s the lessons of grief
That seek to allow an openness to love
The mourning mother whose whelming heart floods
Well beyond the reach of her empty arms

I want to feel myself in the rhythm I want the ocean waves pounding themselves against the glistening rocks Reaching as far as they can out from the waters Like open hands Before falling back to surge again I want the steady wind of passion heaving in my expanding chest My lungs taking in everything Like a fully billowed sail Before sighing out to breathe again I want the firm thumping of birds wings against the the crisp sky Feathers spread wide open over the air Like rays bursting from the sun Before folding back into the body to flap again I want my hot blood to pulse in the throbbing of my heart Flooding through my every vein Like a watershed in a storm Before nourishing my cells to beat again I want the setting sun to plunge into the clouds on the horizon Lighting the atmosphere with a kaleidoscope of hues Like a rainbow bleeding in heaven Before succumbing to the night to rise again I want to feel the birth and death Of the cycles Of the seasons Am I ever so alive As when I’ve tasted life Trusted death And opened into what has yet to become

Rhythm

I want to feel myself in the rhythm
I want the ocean waves pounding themselves against the glistening rocks
Reaching as far as they can out from the waters
Like open hands

You will find no reflection here Once you unfix your gaze And look past these darkened irises Into the abyssal pools they frame I don’t blame you if you turn away I’ve done it much of my life To sip from this endless void Is to drown In being whole I spend these years Dropping through this mirror Of my making Still wishing I could draw in A wisp of the ebbing earth’s air Find some way to walk in this world Like I was born into it Yet this mortal flesh is just a breath Of what I truly am To drown here Is just to return to myself

Void Walker

You will find no reflection here
Once you unfix your gaze
And look past these darkened irises
Into the abyssal pools they frame

If only we could stay in balance here Teetering on this wind Waving up from hot sandy beaches To the copper leafed hills Rest me here in the coming of autumn As the acorns grow green Strung from the open armed oaks Like verdant dew drops Promising new life At a time when all else dies back to slumber I am dying back, too The leaves of my summers ready to rejoin the earth Crumble and decay in gratitude Returning the life That is promised to return anew This seed takes root in my heart Let it all go Life returns when it’s ready

Equinox

If only we could stay in balance here
Teetering on this wind
Waving up from hot sandy beaches
To the copper leafed hills